Maybe they should ship a jar of mayonaise with the game. Whenever Duke Nukem gets laid in the game the player can stick his dick into the jar.

The programmer death toll is up to 107. Seventeen were killed by this idea alone. One took his own life by hanging himself with his underwear.

But what about all the women you meet at the VD clinic?

Yeah because hurrying up development on Painkiller, Max Payne, Max Payne 2, Doom 3, Quake 2, Quake 3, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, RTCW: Enemy Territory (WHICH WAS FUCKING FREE), Far Cry, Unreal Tournament, Unreal Tournament 2003, Unreal Tournament 2004, Halo, Riddick, Battlefield 1942, Battlefield Vietnam, Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, and Thief 3 made those terrible pathetic games that don't deserve to stand in the shadow of Duke Nukem Forever.

Internet celebrity George Broussard posts on the internet with me! Hooray!

Railgun is just a fancy way of saying SNIPER RIFLE.

Programmer death toll now at 150 and steadily rising.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.