I can help you. Just get into this straightjacket. Ah yes, that's a good boy.

If this were Minority Report, "FattyArbuckle" would be on death row.

He's serious folks.

I seduced my ant.

I found a great site for incest crossdressing rape stories. Check it out here.

I'm chewing on my credit card right now.

What if a child has sex with an adult? What then, huh?

I fake my organisms.

I'm scratching my balls.

Special thanks to my FYAD friends for contributing to this report.

Do you know of an awful forum that should be included in a future update? Send in a link!

513 programmers died in the time it took to write this feature. Stop the killings. Stop George Broussard before it's too late.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.