The hardcore Christian morons over at Rapture Ready have got it pretty bad. Obama the Antichrist won the presidency pretty handily. Gay marriage legislation is passing in more and more states. To these people, the world has gone to shit and they would rather die than live in it. Of course they're also all giant pussies so instead of just offing themselves, they're gonna wait for THE RAPTURE instead. In case you're not up to speed on Biblical folklore, the Rapture is when Jesus comes rolling up in this motherfucker to the tune of some trumpets and takes all the Christians back up to Heaven. Until that time comes though, they're gonna sit on their forums and entertain us as much as possible with their rampant stupidity.

No conspiracy theories and we mean it!


Look at what you gays have done now.


I'm gonna go with option 2.


Ha ha, you are clumsy as hell God!


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.