I don't know, take off your clothes?


Oh man I love cartoons. My favorite is Animaniacs!


Little angel


Damn, calm down. You're just like my grandma at Christmas.


Yeah, you have The Force. It's called your tits.


I do, but only when I'm shooting ping pong balls out of my twat.


That's true, but it's fun to make fun of you too.


Read this story to the end! Trust me. It's kind of like the story Lowtax told when Fragmaster stole a chair from PlanetQuake.


It takes time for young people to find out who they are and what they want to do in life. In the meantime go ahead and strip for some extra spending money.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.