Welcome to ~KATHERINES~, submitted by MiRRoRMaN. Horrible poetry? Check. Horrible poetry dedicated to phone operators and Dale Earnhardt? Check. Stupid faggy pink rose icons everywhere? Check. Today's site has really "got it all," assuming that the word "all" is used in the same context as "I was vomiting up blood all day after I ate that entire glass Coke bottle." Katherine Raborn is a poet whose true beauty truly shines through when she's making poignant political messages such as "stop the hate" and "I love you."

Dale Earnhardt Sr.
April 29, 1951-February 18, 2001

~ ONE LESS HERO ~

Our life is compiled of heros,
with whom we become connected.
And it is through their courage,
so often we are redirected.

Earnhardt was such a person,
we watched him rise to fame.
Through the thrills of racing,
making a mark with his name.

Who could ever know,
on that fateful last race.
With the end right before him,
a victory we hoped to embrace.

The turn of events so sudden,
and one spirit denied mankind.
This memory etched in our soul,
a legend now left behind.

We called him friend,
on pit row Paramedics waited.
Praying that each was safe,
never to end so ill fated.

One less Hero,
taking the last lap of time.
But we will ever remember,
this one man sublime.

Oh for Christ's sake... the bozo drove a fucking car around an oval lap for hours on end. He wasn't a hero, he was a damn redneck who was legally allowed to drive fast. If some inbred yahoo can have poetry dedicated to him, then I fully expect many of you to write poems about what a hero I was when I die (tomorrow). Make sure to create collages of my images and point out the magnificent things I did while I was alive, such as "breathe" and "type words on a keyboard so that they may appear on various computer screens." Now THAT'S a hero!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful