The Matrix 4 Homepage, submitted by Simon. What is the Matrix 4? It's easiest if I tell you, don't let this web site try. The Matrix 4 is essentially the Matrix that exists in the movie of the same name, but it's got a number four after it and instead of being in a movie it's actually what we all live in. I think. The creator of this site details in a rambling and nearly incoherent way what the Matrix 4 is all about while frequently sidetracking himself into discussions of painting his jeep and wanting to have kids with some foreign woman he met on IRC.

The fact of the mater is that we are on a grid with about a 1.8' separation in width and height. Now; obviously it is not a subatomic grid, but it is routable by the reality administrators of Earth. The problem with it is that this Matrix that we live in called Earth (or "Matrix 4") is built for many people to live within (6 billion people or so, right?) so the grid is not on a subatomic level - it is of a lesser density for more efficient use of resources to handle more people. The name for the controllable grid of Earth, also known as "Matrix 4" is called Matrix 4 because of the number 4 being a large problem to the elite few within the high command of the grid when we were just starting out. Everyone beyond Earth almost always told us numerical figures that were heavily laced with the number 4. Things were in 4's such as: "4 of these" or "44 of those" or "4 trillion of that". To overcome this problem with the number 4, we made our entire entity based on the number 4. Why we adopted the name "matrix" for our regime, was because we saw a certain resemblance to the movie called "The Matrix".

Oh, and by the way...

My name is M.C. Shampoo.

That's right, the guy who is going to blow the lid off of this whole affair, the man who is closest to the "creators" of The Matrix, is none other than M.C. Shampoo. I think he's fairly trustworthy when it comes to matters concerning the fabric of our reality. I mean seriously, whose word could possibly mean more than a rambling incoherent shit with a web site that features absolutely no evidence that we live in the Matrix, oh and his name is M.C. Shampoo. Fantastic!

• Pardon Our Dust

Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

• DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind