Rap Bitches, submitted by Tiresias. Sounding less like rap and more like some trash Europop heard through the haze of a mescaline nightmare, the Rap Bitches are fucking SET to tear up the scene with their hot new ish Ghost Boobs! Not only is their music the worst thing since sliced Hitler, they've also infected the Internet with a website so visually abrasize you might as well strap SOS pads to your monitor and rub your eyes on it.
GRAVY TRAIN!!! is the bitter brainchild of Chunx, your standard honky ho, who obsessed over JJ Fad lyrics ('I seen better pictures on a can of Alpo'), bitched about tiny-donged menz, and suffered from the frightening split affliction of burgerphilia/nymphomania. Funx soon stepped in with her winning Casio beats, frighteningly stark-faced and sexually obscene dance moves, and Spanish flair (but NOT in a Santana featuring Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas sorta way).
I give them very very diminutive props for ripping on Santana and Matchbox 20, but when you're coughing up tangy-fresh puke tracks on your latest CD you don't really have a lot of room to criticize "bland and packaged". I wish Rap Bitches a long career of playing for their friend's birthday parties at the local dive bar.
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
I saw good men turned to mush in the wars against the soggies. Men much better than you, Mr. President. If you are going to take John Brennan's security clearance, take my security clearance too.
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