Rainbow Bridge, submitted by Booty Elf. I recently lost a good friend of mine in a snowmobile accident. His name was Professor Pug and he was my faithful dog for 13 years. I was totally crushed, and lost without his companionship. Then a co-worker, seeing how bummed out I was and slowing down production 28%, sent me this site to cheer me up. Cheer me up it certainly did, at first, but then I saw through the happy and colorful facade at the ugly brutal truth.Where is my frog? I lost my frog. I'll find my frog.

THE RAINBOW BRIDGE IS A LIE! Perpetrated by who I know not, probably the Freemasons and the Bush administration. They say that “All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.”, and that “There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.”. More venomous lies! I went to the pet cemetery were Professor Pug was buried and dug up his broken, maggot infested, wasted corpse. There was no rich green grass or gumdrop waterfall, only the smell of the nearby landfill and the clove cigarettes from the Goths hanging out near the gravestones. There is no rainbow bridge, only the void of nothingness.

Actually I didn’t have a dog I just linked this because of the “Stairway to Heaven” midi.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful