Choose Your Own Change, submitted by GokuGhostKillahXXX. One of my favorite things as a kid was those Choose Your Own Adventure books. I would go to my elementary school book fair that they had each year and buy a ton of them. They were the stupidest goddamn stories you would ever read in your life but the fact that you could "choose" which way you wanted the story to go was the coolest thing ever. But there was one thing missing. If only these stories were about HORNY DONKEYS THAT USED TO BE HUMAN FUCKING EACHOTHER.
Josh feels himself sweating as perverse images fill his mind. His donkey hood swells to an embarrassingly massive size from the scent of the females. He can almost feel the hormones begin filling his veins and trying to push his human thoughts out of his mind.
For an eighteen year old human male, hormones are often more then enough of a problem. Josh soon found out just how much of a problem hormones could be when ones inhibitions have been whipped out and their hormones have increased twenty fold in strength.
No, I'm not a donkey; I will not fuck a donkey. I won't let them do this to me.
And then at the end of each chapter other authors can branch the story into differing but equally disgusting plot holes just like those books you used to love as a kid. Remember, as a kid? When everything was pure and innocent and PEOPLE DIDN'T WRITE ABOUT DONKEY FUCKING ON THE INTERNET.
Josh openes his eyes and watches two more of his fellow jacks give in and approach jennys. He shakes his head in attempt to push out the thoughts he's just thought. No, I can't give up. I have to assume I'll find a cure. Of course even if I do, then I'll have lost out on this experience. At least then, I'll give myself a release and be able to think clearly.
The jenny turns and readies herself. What am I doing? Am I insane? I can't give in! This isn't me. But it's so hard to resist ... she smells so nice.
Josh brays as he fights what is now even what's left of his human logic slipping between wanting him to give in instead of resisting.
I'm a good boy; I barley know her; we're not ready yet!
But, Josh knows those are human thoughts. He finds himself wanting the battle to be over but also wanting to hold on. With a grunt, Josh finally....
What do you do now?
Gives in, gets his release and is able to think clearly.
Gives in, gets his release but his thoughts become donkey thoughts.
Resists and tries to get away.
I choose death. Does anyone have a short length of hose I could borrow? I'm going to be in the garage for a while.
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.