Consciousness.com, submitted by me. Meet Dav*d Hargrave. Yes, that's his name with the asterisk and all. He seems to know a whole l*t about the universe.
"The key to understanding Universal Azium Ascention is for you to create an azium for yourself. To do this simply stand up and spin around a few times and then stop. As you will see, an azium, like the one which continues to spin ethereally around you has some interesting properties: it seems to float, it also seems to bend light as you can see by looking out through it. It makes everything wavey. . . so it has properties of fluids, I believe it is some kind of ethereal, fluid-crystalinity.
Children call it Dizzy I call it an Azium!"
To make a long st*ry short, Dav*d likes to spin around and get dizzy to achieve a higher consciousness. If th*t weren't enough, here's a divine, universally tuned, Earthling-style photograph of the m*n himself wearing some sort of spirit bra.
"I aplolgize to you if my presentation, in any way, keeps you from understanding and benefitting from these ideas."
Apol*gy accepted, Dav*d.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.