Kimbel For Congress, submitted by Sabishii. Since today is election day, it only makes sense to have a politically-motivated website to go along with it. Well, I think it's a political site, the ramblings of a madman are sometimes difficult to decipher.

IIN 1998 MY OPPONENT SAID "BLACK PEOPLE HAVE NO MORALS!!" I BELIEVE HE IS WRONG!!! LET'S SEE ON NOVEMBER 7TH WHO IS RIGHT!!!

October 23, 2000---John Kimble, Candidate For Congress in Maryland's Fourth Congressional District, has announced a ($5000.00) Five Thousand Dollar reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of Congressman Albert Wynn for Felony Sexual Abuse and Illicit (Felony) drug use.

Because of the many, many television programs with violence, shootings, killings, and crime, children need to receive information and education into the different cultures of society and the effects of choosing a life of organized youth and crime. Thus, the Federal and State Governments must ensure that Entertainment Fields provide wholesome television programs dealing with real life situations of people from all walks of life.

Individuals who commit crimes should be punished, not rewarded.

All people within the United States of America must be educated to take pride in this great country by cleaning up the trash along the nation's highways and to think before they litter.

Students must be free of harassment and badgering by fellow classmates, for often the experiences within the school affect an individual for a lifetime.

John is a behavioral researcher and developer of the 'Intelligun'--the "Dolphin inside a gun"

Kimbel's won my vote, but mostly out of fear. Anybody who can wield such powerful color schemes, gigantic fonts, and bizarre language has scared me into submission. VOTE KIMBEL FOR EVERY POSITION IN GOVERNMENT!

PS: KIMBEL HAS A GUESTBOOK! ROCK THE VOTE!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful