Year 2002, submitted by Me. What is the year 2002? Apparently it's a mystery novel by a guy with ten kids! And to think I thought it was a measurement of time, commemorating when that one chick who claimed to be a virgin got knocked up and had this really insane baby who started a cult! Here's an excerpt from this thrilling, well-written book:

""Julia?"" Craig said to his secretary over the intercom, ""could you ask Reg to come in here. I need to talk to him about the Falkner Bill."" ""Alright,"" came the answer. Reginald Kleinman was in Craig's office in a few moments, and Craig said ""Reg, I need to get all this junk moving. I'd like you to take a couple of things off my hands, review them, and then get back to me in a week. I'm due to vote on some of this, and I know you are busy, but this has got to get done. Are you on board here?"" Reg said ""What is it that you want me to do?"" ...and with that Craig placed a couple of items in the lap of Reg and discussed as much as he knew about them. One of these was the treaty, and he asked Reg to research it out as much as he could. ""I'm sorry that I don't have more information on the treaty for you, but I haven't had much luck. Try the UN embassy in Switzerland. One of my associates gave me that lead. I called once, but there was no available one who spoke English at the time I called. Please try that again, ok?"" ""Sure Craig, I'll get it done. Don't worry about it. I'll see you in a week!"" Reg was Craig's most dependable assistant.

Way to go, Reg!

You can only read the first four chapters of this book online, if you want to read the rest you have to fill out a survey and get emailed a password. Apparently the main character, a congressman, gets "caught in the midst of a vast secret combination, tries to remain low key, but his true loyalties are discovered." Yes, a "vast secret combination." Huh? A combination of what, flour and gasoline? Your guess is as good as mine. I take back all I said above about the year 2002. If this novel is any indication, this year is going to suck. Even for you dyslexic retards. Sorry!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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