Ways that this band is better than the real Van Halen:

  • More hair on that fat singer's face than on David Lee Roth's entire head.
  • These kids probably wouldn't refer to getting a 50 year old soccer mom drunk and fucking her in the bathroom of a Days Inn a "good night".
  • Far fewer instances of faggoty karate stage moves.
  • There are more people that have seen this video (currently about 5500) than there are that still care about Van Halen.
  • The lead singer of this band would not only eat brown M&Ms, but possibly any nearby furniture that isn't bolted down.
  • This band is not entirely made up of zombies that may or may not want to eat my flesh and/or brains.

Critics Corner

"everytime those fags make a video a helpless kitten dies...i think fat guy lost about 50 pounds making this video...and if he jumps one more time he's gonna throw the whole world off it's axes"


"every post- same fag"




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About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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