Once the parts are assembled and laid out on your work-bench, double-check the wiring on your Van der Graf generators. Take this time to also check the security on your door. The last thing you need is a couple of Mormons blundering in when you are midway through creating a deplorable blasphemy against God. The high-pitched voice in your head may be suggesting you answer them in your blood-spattered clothing just for a laugh but trust me - nothing brings the cops like the unmistakeable stench of corrupted flesh.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.