"The Beach" has remained one of the most popular summer vacation spots for decades running, but at this point is it just resting on its reputation? BYOB scoured various review sites to give readers an up-to-the-moment understanding of how "The Beach" as a concept rates these days.
this place is GROSS and DISGUSTING!!!
first of all, the ground is covered in cat litter or maybe its the stuff they put in ashtrays i dont know but YUCK!!! what idiot decided that was a good idea. also the water smels like crotches and i saw a bug. it crawled on my arm this place is a joke. the hot dogs are ok though. 2/5
Not the real ocean
What is this dumb crap? I watched the "ocean" for hours and not once did I see a whale, a shark, or a manta ray. I told my son he would get to meet Nemo and Dory and he was so disappointed. No corals or squids or dolphins? It was clearly just a big vat of salt flavored water. I want my money back.
1/5 This beach is a scam artist
Way too crowded. My treasure was found before i could even paint the x. 0/5
Came here to bury my nemesis up to his neck at low tide like Ted Danson in Creepshow. 5/5
The water got bigger? my sand castle was destroyed and we had to move. Who did this?
i tried to join a game of volleyball but they would not let me play. i tried to explain that i was a fun person and had taken a volleyball class, but they would still not let me play. i then attempted to demonstrate both of these facts, but they would not watch my demonstrations.
2/5 this beach is mean.
After hearing about the romantic atmosphere from friends, my husband and I decided we had to see it for ourselves. The service was slow, the dress code atrocious, and worst of all - our crab were under-portioned as well as under-cooked. This would explain why I've been vomiting and pooping for nearly 48 hours straight. Worst experience of my LIFE!
i flunked out
Let me just preface this review by saying that when I went to the beach, I was expecting a calm, relaxing, afternoon laying in the beautiful sand and reading. What I experienced tho, was the complete opposite. First of all, someone needs to clean this place up. There's sticks all over the place, you couldn't go anywhere without stumbling upon rotting plants even in the water (seriously, who keeps killing the plants here?), and get this, there's charcoal everywhere. Couldn't any one of the numerous people that work here have done some quick cleaning before the start of the day? I mean come on. And don't get me started on all of the noise. Children screaming (I mean come on, really? Children? At a place like the beach?), gulls screaming, and for some reason the waves were extra big and loud. Who really wants the waves to be that big and loud anyways? I mean, really. Overall a terrible experience, and I wont be coming back.
1/5 STARS. The one star is because my husband enjoyed splashing in the shallows.
A Fine Beach
I was skeptical about the beach at first due to the TRUCKLOADS of complaints it had gotten, but me and wifey just HAD to check it out! And WHAT A VIEW!
There's an OCEAN of WATER practically right in front of you! Jellyfish galore! Someone even let a DOG run on the SAND!
It was some of the most fun I've ever had, and I've been to THE PARK! 5/5
My nemesis buried me here up to my neck at low tide like Ted Danson in Creepshow. 0/5
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.