purity control:

Soft strands of grey hair
Silky, long, and beautiful
Too bad it's your pubes

Neglected soft mouth
Pink, wet, nibbles my member
Hungry vagina

Red Bull. Viagra
A risky combination
Dial 9-1-1.


As I slam your cunt
I can smell your pheromones
Wait that's just Gold Bond

Gums rubbing my cock
With your dentures up my ass
You drooled on my balls!

There is no problem
Though my foreskin resembles
Dried out raisin skin

God you turn me on
Do me a favor, baby
Drink your bag of piss

It's so disgusting
How can an 80 year old
Give me my red wings?

Going downstairs now
Wow your flappy labia
Tastes like an old shoe


Wrinkled and aroused
Both legs and tits to the floor
I'll cum on your face

Envelope my cock
Spit flowing from your mouth's side
Such sweet gum fucking


You are dry like sand
There is but one remedy:
Pick scabs, let pus flow

I have fallen down
And I cannot get it up
I wish I was dead

Cheesecake rump above
Rotting rod erect below
Reverse cowgirl hag

Put it in my butt
Stick it inside really deep
Enemas are fun

What is in the air?
It looks like a cloud of dust
Oh, it's your jism


Medicalert girl
I've fallen in love with you
And I can't get up

Five gallone of lube
And you're still dry as a beach
Let's watch some Matlock


Like soft shoe leather
Salty and sublime they taste
Your nipples please me

Withered and wrinkled
Hair covered moles all over
Your saggy ass cheeks

In the creas'ed folds
My tongue rasps a salty treat
You die climaxing

Like baby's diaper
Soggy and heavy and sweet
I sniff your depends

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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