This week, the Something Awful Forum Goons talk to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer -- thanks to his close, personal friend, forums user amf5, to get answers to the important questions we've carried for so long.

SB: Proceed.

Classicist: is that you?

SB: What the fuck kind of question is this? Of course it is.

Classicist: can you give me a copy of win7 then?

SB: Sure, just send me $260.

Hen: Post tits

SB: Try a porn site, weirdo.

Classicist: put your shoe on yor head.

SB: Fine. Why did I just do this?

Intel Penguin: Balmer why can't you put two different wallpapers on two different monitors if you've got dual screens?

SB: Eh? Only faggots need two monitors. Faggot.

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