Ridgely_Fan: Steve Ballmer, since you're so rich how come you don't buy a shirt that fits? Is it your awkward hip to shoulder ratio that's making it difficult to find a shirt?
SB: I keep getting boners around the office, so I have to tuck my woohoo up into my belly. My dick is this big:
So you can see why it needs to be nice and loose. Like my women. Hehe.
Null Pointer: How many chairs would a chairchuck chuck if a chairchuck could chuck chairs?
SB: Is that you, Eric Schmidt?
Listen to me, you do-goody altruistic piece of fucking human trash: I wasn't drunk last night when I called you. Not that drunk, anyway.
I will take ALL OF GOOGLE AND SMASH IT INTO TINY.
LITTLE.
PIECES.
Thug Bonnet: steve, when are u gonna depreciate wpf?
SB: Depreciate? WPF? Uhh...
You have pretty eyes.
Bought Account: how u feel about pizza
SB: What's on it?
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Previous Articles
- Image Makeovers!
- Misquoting Famous People
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- What is this CSI investigating?
- The Many Faces of Barack Obama