google THIS

it seems that those capitalist pigs have resorted to airdropping propaganda on our soil. mom snuck a job application down the laundry chute the other day.


Declared a national bird today, but then it flew off.


did you guys know you can feed half a country with burger king's new 2 for $10 meal


hey everyone, just a reminder that memorial day is tomorrow. please take a moment out of your day and remember the heroes from our greatest conflicts: the Petinsky Divorce, Getting That Bird Out of Chuck's Garage II, and the Vietnam War. •

City of Glompton

bad news: I'm restricting national wifi access until someone cleans up the damn living room. We can't allow foreign dignitaries like the Ms. Snodgrass to see our proud country in this state of disrepair, and Bunco starts in an hour.
good news: The nation's snack stockpile is at an all-time high, and is expected to last through tonight's game as well as several days of lunches and evening munchies.


fucking Chet lost the five bucks I gave him and started a recession


Animal rights activists are outside the presidential bi-level because Oskar ran over a gopher yesterday, raising our per capita gopher killing rate through the roof.

google THIS

I don't think you understand just how small this country is. I'm simultaneously standing in six countries at the moment, not because their borders all come together at one point but because the store didn't have my shoe size so I went a half size up


In lieu of an expensive and quite frankly budget busting space program we will instead construct a romantic and "kickin" dirt bike jump in Kumail's yard while he is at work.


Met the president of Andorra at a bar. We shared some drinks. That guy gets it.

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

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