Steve: You find references to an entity called Azathoth that holds an inscrutable court in a faraway place.

Zack: Past the LBC? Like San Clemente or some shit? East LA?

Steve: Spaces beyond human understanding.

Zack: Oh, he is East Coast! Why didn't you just say that fool was East Coast?

Steve: He is not East Coast. He lives in space. Anyway, this isn't about him, you see mention of a god dwells with Azathoth as a green ball of flame. Legend says that if this entity comes to earth it will crack open the bedrock and seep into the earth's core and then emerge as a huge jet of green fire, a burning column that cannot be extinguished.

Zack: Oh, now that is definitely not welcome. We are loc'd out down on this planet. Does he have a weakness?

Steve: Weakness? Like Kryptonite?

Zack: Yeah or bullets.

Steve: His weakness, like most cthulhu monsters, is "don't let them get to earth."

Zack: E notes down all this shit to take back to the gang. What is this thing called?

Steve: Tulzcha.

Zack: Oh, sure, that will be easy to work into a lyric. I will give this bald player some rootbeer barrels out of my pocket and be on my way.

Steve: Why does Eazy-E carry around rootbeer barrels?

Zack: You got to have something to distract a shorty while you upstairs wreckin' his mom's butthole.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.