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Bad news, Adverse Interests, LLC. Your Nion, David Fauxie, has died in the field. Please review the asset profile and make the arrangements that apply.

Customer Comments:

"Smells like burning rubber and diaper rash cream. I caught him eating out of my trash in the kitchen and when he saw me he started crying. Completely useless."
- Vanessa Tingle, mom (The Tingle Nightmare Concordance)

"He looks sort of like Bowie from across a room, but up close he looks more like someone stretched out a pug's face and gave him reptile eyes. Did I mention the smell? It was like olive oil and hair burning on a hot light bulb."
- Racer Zero, racer (Evil Valvoline)

David Fauxie

AKA: Roger Lowenstein, Space Abnormality, Randy Stardust, Captain Ben

Customer Score: 27% (rate)

Availability: Currently Unavailable!

Capabilities: Fear of Armenians, Mo-mo-mo-modifications, mistaken identity, doppleganging.

Equipment: Often accompanied by The Spiders from Marshall, Arizona, a three-man band trained in hand-to-hand combat. A sequined gold lamet bodysuit with a picture of a unicorn and a rocket on the back, several hundred tactical scarves, a detachable soul patch.

Special Training/Notes: Please note that Roger can impersonate Bowie from any period, but he can only perform believable covers of Bowie's late-career work. From Tin Machine on. If you want an evil David Bowie impersonator who covers his early career we suggest Matt from Spitting Image & Mayhem or Cracked Mirror's Black Bowie if you don't mind a black metal version of Bowie.

Asset Liquidation Clause: In the event of asset liquidation in the field, a payment totaling $10,000 is to be paid to My Mother, My Dog, and Clowns, Attorneys at Evil Law.

Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:

A Rainbow-8 Jaguar drone fired a missile and the resulting explosion overturned the escaping Adverse Interests Winnebago Mobile Lair. Upper management was able to escape in the ejector pods, but the driver, co-driver, mysterious woman in the bathroom too much, and David Fauxie, were killed in the fire. Fauxie had just completed his final Roadshow performance at Caesar's Palace when the Rainbow-8(more)

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