Hydrogen: I wish she had gone into "Kombat mode" instead, then she could have yelled "GET OVER HERE" and torn his still-beating heart out with her bare hands.
Hydrogen: At least this is a short break from the unending boredom of the other 600 hours of desert-hiking footage.
Trillaphon: Did you know this movie was actually adapted from the wildly popular TV version?
Hydrogen: There's a TV show?
Trillaphon: Well, I dunno if you could call it a show, exactly; it's more like the Iranian equivalent of that 24/7 yuletide log channel. "Moods of the Desert - Ambient Sandscapes for Every Occasion."
Hydrogen: I dunno, that sounds more like a Kenny G album title to me.
Trillaphon: If only Kenny G were a smelly goat-herding nomad instead, just think how much better the world would be.
Hydrogen: You're just trying to get a death-sentence fatwa put on you at this point, aren't you?
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.