Overview: We were going to write something about how this is a hip-hop melodrama/ghetto Scarface/pointless car chase movie, but some jerk on IMDB beat us to the punchline "Master P's Theater" and now we're too angry to write a plot summary.
Directed By: Master P, 2000
The Case For: There are no spray painted Nerf guns, gratuitous nipple shots or hand puppets made from old gym socks and papier-mache, so this is pretty much Citizen Kane compared to the shit we usually watch.
The Case Against: Any movie where all of the "actors" are most well-known for their rapping credentials is already doomed to failure, but Hot Boyz proves that a healthy dose of B-movie veterans can make a bad situation even worse.
Admittedly, this movie is pretty far outside our usual fare, but trust us, we know a bad movie when we see one. Gary Busey and Jeff "Car Chases Rule Everything Around Me" Speakman are two surefire signs of a godawful trainwreck caught on film. The good news is that they're only in about 10% of the movie combined. The bad news is that doesn't stop their aura of failure from pulling down everything and everyone around them. Also, it's a hell of a 10%:
Alright, we can't prove that Gary and Jeff are responsible for all of the problems with Hot Boyz, but we have a hunch. See, Hot Boyz isn't really one movie, it's actually three movies:
You can probably see why we're a little suspicious about the influence of the two "stars" here. Helping them out in the supporting cast is a baffling mixture of B-movie veterans and rappers that just doesn't bode well for anything that's about to come. We never thought we'd see a cast list that bills C. Thomas Howell right next to C-Murder, but here we are.
Facebook must remain unflagging in its vigilance against titties even in these troubled times of rising fascism.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
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