THE DEED IS DONE.
Step 1: The cake.
Step 2: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel is given cake.
Step 3: Girlfriend cuts into cake.
Step 4: Girlfriend discovers "oddity" inside cake.
Step 5: Oddity, upon closer inspection, turns out to be engagement ring.
Step 6: Girlfriend Emily "Integral" Reigel says "yes" and will soon become Emily "Integral" Kyanka.
Step 7: Girlfriend, cat, and webmaster are all happy. They become one small, happy family.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.