This book consists of ideas, images, & quotations hastily texted or tweeted to use them 4 future or 4 whatevs. Not 2 many get used for project cuz I am hella busy busy busy so mostly just ideas - suggestions or random $hit I just thought was interesting so that I don't forget them or maybe I can cum up with a better idea. The sources are various - dreams, TV shows I watched, songs I heard on my zune, my girls, TMZ, twitter, googles, & so on. lol all real & about my life tho......

The REAL Tila Tequila


1 - Trying to fit Wifey into my dress - bizarre consequences.

2 - Glitter thong @ web store (evil?!?!)

3 - Woman w/ no panties takes mysterious car service 2 bar while on period - TMZ posts picture of tampon string & beefies LOL

4 - Wifey threw'd computer out oriel window, lands on ancient cobbled street of strange foggy village - dawn brings trip to Mac store.

5 - Andy Dick hatches from primordial egg.

6 - Exact same dress worn by fat bitch - wish for her tits 2 fall off mysteriously cums true

7 - Evil pharaoh makes barfing sounds from kitchen but when u go in there he acts like nothing happened WTF

8 - Sexy genius mogul lady invents new website where u can go on & put in a picture of ur dog & it will show what it looks like if it wuz a person - dogs trade places with people LOL driving dogs

8b -


9 - Wifey saw a ghost & calls police to apartment - final warning from PD

10 - Zip line on spring break - wet t-shirt - evil melody about thongs makes whipped cream appear.

11 - 2 many margaritas - forgot about cooter pills - red cowboy boots guy - consequences.

12 - Evil laughter on La Cienega - HOLLYWOOD sign seen at full moon becomes LOLOLWOOF.

13 - Lady says a mean thing to Tila - sunbathing - big sea pickle bites a lady's cooter. YIKES!!!

14 - Sexy genius inventor invents dress with no butt - awards - vampire stripper

15 - Something unspeakable seen in STD test

16 - Wifey spills all her pills on the carpet - she knows stripper friends are coming over - desires big crying breakdown when we're trying to have fun LOL DRAAAAAMA

17 - Normal man wins Shot at Love with terrible climax

18 - LOL miscarriage in Starbucks toilet cums back & keeps getting bigger and bigger & talks in a whispery voice

19 - Wifey hears strange music on myspace - throws meth fit - STFU

20 - Fat baby gets beat up, tweets out of turn, cries - evil fatso baby

21 - dog Brazilian - consequences

22 - tampon goes into D&G purse and cums out bloody lol

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