This is Yours Truly. Hello!Hails and well met fellow travelers of the Informations Byways, it tis being I Sir Grande of the Rounds Table! Hahaha, just kidding folks, I am being the same old El Pinto Grande as always and am not made to wear the shining armor of the night. I am considering myself a pretty relaxed sort of the luchador and am not given to being angry like the rudos on very many occasions. Day ins the day outs Yours Truly is given to accepting all of the bad behaviors of the people and the animals and is placing this in towards box inside of brain. This is to being unlocked on occasion once every three months ago and this is like Gator which is biting at birds which are landing on head. Do not touch a crocodile's head, this is being soundest of advices.

I am feeling so relieved after the outpourings of my angers on the ground I am thinking that I should be sharing with you what is making Yours Truly in contempt. If you are being cut from the same cloth as I am and you are a wrestling sensation from Mexico then you can send the letter in the computer to me and it is good to share.

The first thing I am being to hate is American Chemical Factories which are sometimes next door to homes of Yours Truly. Up their nose with the rubber hose, they are putting so much of the chemical into the lake that I am made to think sometimes ghosts are out haunting the lake but it is FROGS!! Forget that buddies! What sort of chemical is making the frogs crazy talk like this? I don't know, but it can't be good for my large son or even Yours Truly. I am having to drink this water friend types, and let me tell you that I do not appreciate the clouds of the smog and the monsters that emerge from them. These are all product of chemical factory and I think El Diablo who is in league with American Chemical Factory. Employees are A-OK, I am not made to have problem even with president of American Chemical Factory but if he is unleashing the beasts and poisoning the walls I am going to have to ask for him to TONE IT DOWN BUDDIES.

IMG HTML="bigguys.jpg"Yesterday I am in garden and I am seeing rabbit which is usually eating the carrot and is such a trouble to the devoted gardening folk such as Yours Truly but is also adorable which is defensive camouflage to keep me from smashing with rakes. This time rabbit is changes which I am thinking maybe come from American Chemical Factory, I am not knowing for sure, could also be meteors. Rabbit is made to have two heads, but the heads are not next to the other head like normal two head snake and fish, it is head on one end AND HEAD ON THE BUTT!!! Really peoples of the world, what kind of sick in the head person is thinking it is okay to put heads on the butts of rabbits? Which way will it go? Does the crud come out of the mouth? Which end am I given to address with the "good days to you rabbit"?!?! WHO KNOWS!? It is given to perish in rake attack and I am burying it with much griefs but it is not meant for this worlds.

Also hoses should be destined for the noses of Eduardo Cruz. He is superb jerk of Tijuana newspaper "Tijuana Daily Sun" and he is in the sportingest of departments which is mean that he covers the actions in the squares circle. Eduardo Cruz is given to write about how Yours Truly is no longer past the primes and is not fit to be in the rings. I am not knowing how he is writing such scandalous criticisms, I have not seen him in the squares circle because he IS NOT A LUCHADOR! What is that about? You are needing to walk the miles in these boots before you are writing in the newspapers again Mr. Cruz. I will send you a package with the contents being one rubber hose and I will address it to your nose so be ready to accept delivery.

WHOEVER IS LEAVING TURTLE CAGE OF RAMBO OPEN AT NIGHT: ENOUGHS ARE ENOUGHS!!!! I am ready to stick so many hoses up your noses that you will be made to called "HOSE KING" if you are ever inheriting monarchy. I am sure the gentle reader types are thinking "well greatest legend of wrestling and flexible luchador El Pinto Grande, it should not being overly difficult to capture the escaped turtles" but I am saying "THINK AGAIN BUSTERS!". Rambo is a whaley sort who is scrambles up pipes and climb in the vents and if turtle cages are open it is not uncommonest of sounds to hear the clicking of turtle claws inside vent above bed. It is one things to keep me awake at the nights before a matches with the clattering in vents it is another thing if best friend and animal companion Rambo is wander into BOILER!

You, sir or madam who is made to leave turtle cage open, are you ready to have the bloods of a beloved turtle pet friend on your hands? You are so rudos I am not knowing what to do with your kind! Rambo is a true friend type and I am knowing that he is not having capabilities of opening the cages so it is someone in this house that is making the mischief. Large Son, if I am discovering that it is you who are behind this I am given to send you to strong camp where you are going to be working like an oxen and hauling tons of bricks!! Wife type, if it is you who is letting the turtle out of his house then I am going to have to have a long talk with the police and will be seeing what they are saying about the arrests of divorce.

No don't go away please! Credit for photo and earlier photo is being to Greasy Deej.Abominational, let me have some words with your type and introduce the hoses into the equation of YOUR NOSE! How will you be liking that!? Not much I am given to think. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired of you talking about how Mexico is not a good country. Take the peeks into the mirror Abominational, that is a Mexican type staring back at you, so do not be quickest of judgment on our proud heritages! Mexico is the cradles of civilization and it is an important exporter of the products of the world. Did you know that now there are more American Chemical Factories in Mexico than there are in America? I bet you are not given to thinking about up sides to this sort of thing Abomonational. You are also not the best of wrestlers and that is me being generous of your character. You are rudos and you are cheat and your fight is all staggering and grappling, which is not what the fans are given towards paying to see. When you hear the boos next time it will be for your bad wrestling skills but also because the fan types cannot resist the boos when a grown man is having rubber hose in his nose.

Oh hey.

I am almost made to forget the egg salad that wife type is making. I am not caring if this is wife's egg salad or if this is mysterious character's egg salad, this is one bad dude and not good at all in the sandwiches. Mayonnaise meet egg, introduce friend relish and PREPARE TO DIE! If you had a nose on you I would be feeding a hose into it with mighty kicks so be prepared for that egg salad. I am giving this to turtle type Rambo and even he is turning up the noses at the egg salad and this is coming from a shelled gentlemans who is eating BUGS! I am no professor type when it comes to math but I think this is meaning that BUGS = BETTER THAN EGG SALAD! I think this is a startling discovery and I am intending to write the essays for science journals after this page in computer book. You think you are so smart egg salad but think about that again.

Grandma is hurt, call police.One Bug that is somehow not even better than the egg salad goes by name of Bug Ox and he will have whole factory devoted to building rubber hoses to place in towards his nose in MY MEXICO. For those who are not having a clues about Bug Ox and his many rudos antics let me tell you about the time he is wrestling good friend type Sombrero Largo in squares circle. Bug Ox is doing his trademark maneuver which starts with him looking like the girls and then sort of squeezing his butt and then he is given to say "Bu-Bu-BUG OX!" and the crowd is on the course booing all the times during this. Then he is charging forward to level Sombrero Largo to the ground with the force of light breeze and of course Sombrero Largo is yawn and counter with drop toe hold that is sending Bug Ox to the mats for a nap. Bug Ox is somehow not too asleep to reach in and pull out the foreigner's object from inside cape and it is a knife. Horrible referee type Xavier Chavez is not made to stop Bug Ox and this perpetrator is committing horrible stabs to arms and torso of Sombrero Largo.

THIS IS UNACCEPTED!! I am fed to the brim with this sort of garbage Bug Ox and I am going to be seeing you on the street and I will say:

"Oh hello Bug Ox, come into this alley with me I have surprises."

And you are so stupid you will say "Why of course legend of wrestling El Pinto Grande, surely I am not doing things in days of yores that are upset you and force on to you the seeking of vengeance."

Then when we get inside of alley I will say "Oh hello Bug Ox, here hold this end of rubber hose while I am KICKING THE OTHER END INTO HEAD THROUGH NOSE."

And then you will have nose implants of hose.

Up the nose of hemlines and I am of course referring to hemlines of dresses on ladies and putting rubber hoses up the nose of them. Right up their nose hard! These hem lines are just going up every day like the Down Jones Industry Average and pretty soon they will be called the neck lines. I am not having a daughter so this is less concern to Yours Truly than if I am having daughter but it is hard not to have the wondering eyes when the hem lines are in the clouds. Good friend type Sombrero Largo is taking me to dancing place where the women are so excited about dancing they are having a policy of hemlines so high the hemlines disappear into space. Then they are taking off the other clothes under the top clothes and dancing some more and I am starting to get dizzy so I excuse myself to the restroom. I am loyalist of husband and honor so I am not touching the women any more than is the requirement of laws.

Okay thanks, I am feeling better already.

Go Forth and Stab Some Spiders

Hey folks, Taylor "Enemy of Korea" Bell here with another excellent review of a game that would kill to possess the amount of excellence that my article has. To ingest this excellence in easy-to-swallow review form, simply click this shit, man!

After I fought off 200 little dwarflings and saved the industrious clone-people of Whateverthatvillagewascalled, they handed me an utterly useless bow before sending me off to go find Merlin. I assume after I left they spent a good half hour snickering and laughing at me before getting back to their busy schedule of standing motionless and watching mold grow on their feet. Ignore the previous paragraph where my naive, ignorant self from the past whined about how useless the Plastic Sword was – this fucking bow is so horrible at killing enemies that every shot I took made a few of the dead ones come back to life and rise from their graves like the guy from Altered Beast. At least with the Plastic Sword an enemy would die once you whacked it 20 or 30 times, but the Toy Bow is unable to kill any enemies because you can never hit them. You can have a giant 12-foot-tall hick standing in front of you at point blank range and shoot, and somehow you will still miss. And if that wasn’t bad enough, sometimes when you fire the arrow will fail to arc downwards and hit the ground. Instead it will arc upwards and disappear into the sky. Yes, that is correct: the people who made this game were unable to incorporate gravity, otherwise known as the “Principle of Things Falling Down Instead of Up, Durrrrrp”, into their game. If I was a programmer and I couldn’t even get gravity to work correctly, I’d quit and find something less embarrassing to do, like writing for a website or something.

I suffered greatly to bring you this review, so I think you should come along and suffer with me.

– El Pinto Grande

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