Graduation ceremonies are convoluted, pointless, and boring, and that’s just for the people getting diplomas. The two+ hour events are almost unbearable for anyone stuck in the audience. No one likes these things. Your siblings were guilted to attend, your parents paid for it, and your grandparents don’t know what they’re doing anymore, but someone dragged them out of the home anyway. If you’re stuck in the audience, print out this handy activity sheet (inspired by third grade teachers from across the world) and try to have some fun.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
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