This article is part of the Online Anarchy series.
P A R E N T A L - A D V I S O R Y : Y O U - S U C K ! ! ! ! ! !
ANARCHISTS(_) __| | ___| |__ ___ ___ | | __
/ _` | | | | |/ _` |/ _ '_ / _ / _ | |/ /
| (_| | |_| | | (_| | __/ |_) | (_) | (_) | <
__, |__,_|_|__,_|___|_.__/ ___/ ___/|_|_
H A L L O W E E N - E D I T I O N ! ! !
"A spook tackular halloween will be had by all" Freedy Cougar
"This tips are the boss in my book. I love em" Dad from Munsters
Halloween time is a fun time because it is so easy to make people
do everything you want and more. Too bad for us that we are getting
too old to have fun on halloween... or so they say. Most of the
time you will hear excuses like "You Are Older Then Me I'm Not
Giving You Candy" and "Arent You A Little Old For This Sonny Jim?
How About Getting A Nice Girlfriend Instead?" Well first of all
there is no law about how old a person must be to trick or treat so
booya on that count and second of all laws are for the weak so that
is another booya right there. This is anarchy remember and in my
society you would now be 1 booya away from being ostrich sized from
the community. I would give you another booya for trying to force
me to date when Im not ready but that would not give you a chance
to learn from your mistakes...
So as I was saying Its going to be tough to get candy because we
are a bit to old to go trick or treating. That is ok because we can
have our fun many different ways and spread our anarchist message
the entire time. Welcome to the New Wrold Order!!!
<<<<<< THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW >>>>>>
This tactic requires a friend of yours to help out. First find some
trick or treaters with their mom walking around and then have your
friend run up and start harassing them. Make him go "Hello Madam
What Are You Dressed Up As, A V. Ugly Woman And Dumb Baby Kids?"
Then run off! Then You come up all dressed like a cop and say "Hi
Maam Im A Angery Cop And Also You Dont Look A Day Over 40" and she
will tell you about the ruffian (YOUR FRIEND) who harassed her and
her kids and then you say "Do You Want Me To Go Shoot Him Up With
My Gun" and she will be like "No" and offer you a piece of candy to
calm you down from your rage. Then after you finish the candy just
be like "Well I Better Go Shoot That Guy" and she will give more.
Before you know it you will have eaten a lot of candy perhaps too
much candy and you will have to leave. Make the lady look away and
then do your best radio voice and go "PSSHH... There Is A Crime
Going On, Over" and then you can pretty much just run off..
<<<<<< THE HALLOWEEN VIRUS >>>>>>
I know you have heard of comp. viruses that come around on certain
days of the year and on those days if you are like my mom you say
we have to have the computer off and unplugged on that day because
the virus might happen to us and delete moms mahjong game. What a
fun game mom but you dont even know how to play you just press some
buttons until the tiles go away. Anyway I am making a virus in the
comfort of my own home right now because I was snooping in my aunts
place and she had a book that came with her IBM BASIC computer. I
have a work in progress of it.
10 PRINT "ENTER IF YOU DARE"
20 PRINT "GREETINGS IM THE DEVILS BABY IM IN YOUR HOME"
30 PRINT "NOW IM GOING TO MAKE YOU DO MY COMMANDS"
40 PRINT "WHY DONT YOU EAT SOMETHING GROSS LIKE POOP"
50 PRINT "ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THE POOP?"
60 INPUT C
70 PRINT "SHUT UP YES YOU ARE"
80 PRINT "The temperature in Fahrenheit is: "; (C * 1.8) + 32
I am still working on how to make the code do bad stuff to their
computer while they keep saying "No I Havent Eaten Poop Yet" but
it is still my first 2 days working on this I will have an update
next time probaly.
<<<<<< THE GRAVY TRAIN >>>>>>
One old time game we played once with my uncle around this time of
year is we went to bet him that he could not drink as much gravy as
I could drink in water in one day. He proudly took us up on that
because he was a deadbeat and he already failed at his own family
so he was trying to be as cool as possible while he lived with us.
So we heated up this gravy from the back of the fridge. I started
my water and he was having his gravy right out of the measuring cup
so he would know how much he had. We were evenly matched until 1pm
or so when he started kind of wailing and he was lying down in the
den on his stomach. By 5pm I had a really good lead but he was
still hanging in there and saying some junk about how he can see
every planet orbiting the sun and it looked like the prettiest
necklace he had ever seen and that he would buy it for his ex wife
and then by like 9pm I pretty much forgot about it because he went
to go puke and then fell asleep. And then the nextg morning he was
gone and mom said he went on vacation but everyone knows he sort of
became a drifter. So yeah good tip messing with the folks.
So Long Folks . . .
THIS FILE HAS BEEN DOWNLOADED FROM........
/ / / / / /
( R | A | N | D | Y | S )
_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/
/ / / / / / /
( R | A | U | N | C | H | Y )
_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/
/ / / / / / / / / / /
( R | O | A | D | H | O | U | S | E | ! | ! )
_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/
Your all-star SysOp staff:
Fat Butler Frank - Sassy Stan - Plump Pauline - BIG BRAD - Jeff
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.