Throughout history, nothing has spurred political and social change as frequently as hatred. It is the great motivator and the great unifier. It is the political capital within us all, lying dormant in wait of a great awakening..
The Hate Foundation is a non-profit think tank devoted to studying and identifying subjects worthy of hatred that third parties may incorporate into their own platform or agenda. Our goal is to provide actionable white papers and disseminate them free of charge to all interested organizations.
Washington, DC, May 28, 2007 - The Hate Foundation (North American Chapter) today announced six key targets for hatred for the month of May. As always, the Hate Foundation was quick to stress that it takes no specific position on the items selected for hatred, it simply describes a means to actualize the potential hatred.
The complete list follows.
2. The Color Orange
5. Richard B. Riddick (fictional character)
6. US Secretary of Transportation Mary E. Peters
The troops appeared for the third time on The Hate Foundation's list since 2005 and rocketed for the first time to the number one spot.
The troops are currently considered highly hateable in large part due to their holier-than-thou attitude. Troops are frequently quoted in the media as concerned over the lack of understanding of the reality of the Iraq War exhibited by common citizens. This is elitism and projects demands on the population. Suggested action centerpiece is a multimedia campaign that relies on skewed direct quotes read by petulant voice actors.
Insert the following question into the public discourse: We're losing the war, whose fault is it? Provide the following answer: The cowardly troops.
2. THE COLOR ORANGE
Orange is still the color with the highest hateability metric. Close associations with road construction, the Dutch, and the Ukraine continue to promote visceral negative reactions to the color orange in most citizens. Hatred of the color orange is not useful in and of itself, but associate an opponent or opposition cause with the color orange and expect impressive results.
Possible drawbacks include orange juice and Halloween. Suggest countering with false reports of child abductions in October and a sponsored university study on the negative impact of citric acid on erectile dysfunction.
Kudos to the Heritage Foundation for bringing Cambodians into viability as a hate campaign lynchpin for the first time since 1979. Effective media retcon of the Vietnam War has informed a dimly aware American public of Cambodia's responsibility for America's defeat.
News cycle echo time is expiring, so act fast on this one. It is difficult for Americans to remember the name of more than one country in South East Asia at a time. Suggested action centerpiece is a cable news investigation of a warlord in Cambodia and the atrocities he has committed in recent years. UN inaction is always a good go-to for backup.
Rated moderately hateable. The depletion of crab grounds has caused a spike per-pound price of most types of crab. Objectively not quite as delicious as lobster.
Suggested action centerpiece is a parasite scare in Alaska coupled with a death on next season's series of Deadliest Catch. Good potential for grass roots study that shows crab feel pain and/or are more intelligent than originally believed. Train a crab to pick out numbers with its claw when prompted by a "marine biologist." Tie in with an article in Vegetarian Times.
5. Richard B. Riddick
The Hate Foundation believes Vin Diesel meme has fully expired, but his characters remain ripe targets for unreasoning hatred. Richard B. Riddick is the most well-known and he plays to both the right and the left with his violence and amoral Darwinism.
Suggested action centerpiece is a school shooting during a field trip to a cave. Dub him "The Pitch Black Killer" on 24/7 news and bring in experts to talk up evidence pointing to a tie to the Riddick character. Saturate broadcasts with clips of Vin Diesel laughing during the press junket for "Chronicles of Riddick" juxtaposed with footage of first responders hoisting dead children out of the cave.
6. US Secretary of Transportation Mary E. Peters
This month's Hate Foundation "Fun Pick" is US Secretary of Transportation Mary E. Peters. A total unknown to all sides of the political wheel, she is ripe for a scandal to ramp up the hatred. Suggested action centerpiece is evidence that she has never owned an automobile and/or drives a stretched Hummer. Secondary action possible around the personal periphery depending on political angle. Gay child is always a winner, personal infidelity is not hot this year, and drug abuse or financial scandal still strong.
There is major positive hateability movement on links to terror groups. It might be difficult to work that angle, but it could also be a fun learning experience.
The Hate Foundation, founded in 1988, is America's largest non-partisan not-for-profit think tank. In 2006, The Hate Foundation provided a record 784 hatred white papers to governmental and non-governmental policy groups. The Hate Foundation's motto is Odium Ortus Novo. It is based in Washington, DC and maintains offices in Dubai, UAE and Berchtesgaden, Germany.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.