Hillary Clinton caught the media's attention last week by daring to call half of Trump supporters a "basket of deplorables." This comment drew outrage, not because Mrs. Clinton used the noun form of a popular adjective for the first time since the 19th century, but due to the fact that people who won't watch Star Trek because "there ain't no coloreds in space" were offended by this insult leveled at them. But, as is the case with all political speeches, the "basket of deplorables" comment exists as one of thousands of possible options run through high-priced consultants and focus groups. Here are some of them.

  • A Regular Collection of Goofs
  • An Arrangement of Reprehensibles
  • A Dusty Bowl of Unopenable Pistachios
  • A Veritable Army of Jackasses
  • A Cookie Bouquet of Miserables
  • A Chorus Line of So-and-Sos
  • A Disney Afternoon of Bonkerses
  • A Finger-Four Formation of Miscreants
  • A Coffee Can Full of Shook Pennies
  • A Rumpus Room of Incorrigibles
  • An Artisanally Cave-Aged Assortment of Misanthropes
  • A Colon of Undigestibles
  • A Stuffed Crust of Nogoodniks
  • An Olympic Triathalon of Seasoned Grumps
  • A Fistful of Crap-Men
  • A Pre-Packaged Bag of Salad with a Dead Bug in It You Don't Notice Until It's Too Late
  • An Orbiting Space Station of Dinguses
  • A Public Pool Plagued with Floating Diapers
  • An Unopenable Bowl of Dusty Pistachios
  • A Well-Meaning Group of Patriotic Bipartisans

– Something Awful Political Beat

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