Donald Trump has refused to release his tax returns, ignoring decades of precedent from other, equally shitty candidates. But we at Something Awful have just received a leaked copy of Trump's 1040, and although it's probably illegal to publish them, we really want the hits. So here goes!
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Extremely proud over here! The bosses took notice and I have been promoted to 20 cages!!
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
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