"Platza Matter - Scared to Come In?"
Now, I'm not totally opposed to older, historical establishments. I am totally opposed to haunted houses though, because that's where people die to ghosts and vampires. It's not so much that I like people, but its the fact that I really fucking hate ghosts. This is why I really fucking hate Dillon's Russian Steam Bath - and not just because they have a website that also dates back to the late 1800s.
The way they describe & picture it, they want to torture you in the most exquisite ways possible. From raking your soaked body with sharp & harsh toxic tree branches, to the various bacterial & fungal infections you will endure the second you entire the ancient torture chamber. Even the website seems to gloat its Silent Hill-esque nature, what with the jarring music, epilepitic visual effects (the blinking scrolling marquee is an abomination), to the killer dancing anime nuns that will do anything to taste the sweet, delicious nectar of your human blood.
Dillons has been steaming, murdering, and possessing naked people for more than 100 years. If that's your thing, their rates are pretty affordable, and there's a discount for first timers. BUT IT WILL BE YOUR LAST.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.