Dr. Don J. Grundmann, aka Morpheus
When we are young, we're told that any one of us could one day become President of the United States. We're also told Santa Claus is real, and left to our own devices to establish that this is just a white lie, to make growing up as a kid a little cooler. Unfortunately for Dr. Donald Grundmann, the Herbalist Chiropractor, no one has had the heart to tell him that he has absolutely no chance of being an elected official of anything. That is, unless, you believe in THE MATRIX...
With the previous warning and advice given I will begin to describe "The Matrix" of our time via the following factual description of a tragic event in United States history. While it may appear at first that the topic I will discuss has no bearing on the 2 financial scandals which I discussed above please bear with me as I will show that the events are extremely closely tied together."
NOW DO YOU SEE THE TRUTH NEO
Beware - Depending upon the extent of your own involvement with "The Matrix" the following information, even though it is completely factual, will be totally new and disturbing. Please be aware of your reaction to it.
So Don's campaign platform involved the Robert Kennedy assassination, home schooling, an IRS conspiracy, all tied together with analogies to a science fiction movie from 9 years ago. From abortion, to Bird Flu, culiminating in the Godfather movie, he explains in detail how he's is prepared to solve these dilemmas that plague America. Oh, and you don't have to pay taxes, too. Just like in the Matrix. Free your mind!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.