Dr. Don J. Grundmann, aka Morpheus
When we are young, we're told that any one of us could one day become President of the United States. We're also told Santa Claus is real, and left to our own devices to establish that this is just a white lie, to make growing up as a kid a little cooler. Unfortunately for Dr. Donald Grundmann, the Herbalist Chiropractor, no one has had the heart to tell him that he has absolutely no chance of being an elected official of anything. That is, unless, you believe in THE MATRIX...
With the previous warning and advice given I will begin to describe "The Matrix" of our time via the following factual description of a tragic event in United States history. While it may appear at first that the topic I will discuss has no bearing on the 2 financial scandals which I discussed above please bear with me as I will show that the events are extremely closely tied together."
NOW DO YOU SEE THE TRUTH NEO
Beware - Depending upon the extent of your own involvement with "The Matrix" the following information, even though it is completely factual, will be totally new and disturbing. Please be aware of your reaction to it.
So Don's campaign platform involved the Robert Kennedy assassination, home schooling, an IRS conspiracy, all tied together with analogies to a science fiction movie from 9 years ago. From abortion, to Bird Flu, culiminating in the Godfather movie, he explains in detail how he's is prepared to solve these dilemmas that plague America. Oh, and you don't have to pay taxes, too. Just like in the Matrix. Free your mind!
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
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If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
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