America's Model Miss (thanks Stef) - There isn't much in this world creepier than pre-teen beauty pageants. The hideous-looking (and sounding) website for America's Model Miss suggests that, "girls just want to have fun." I would counter that their winner's gallery shows girls having about as much fun as they might on the killing floor of a hog farm.
Aren't they radiant?
"Darrrren, Ansley done messed herself again while I'm doing up her hair. Can y'all fetch me her diaper bag and some more of that foundation?"
I love how some of them are maybe eight and they already have the weary fake smiles of women in their late 20s. For them it has been a lifetime of pageantry and their bodies are worn out in strange ways that make them appear inhuman.
She looks like she should be reading copy about a terrorist torture manual for Fox News or maybe huddling in the entryway of a nail salon on her lunch break trying to light a Newport .
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.