MommyBlog - Apparently being a mommy is the hot, new thing to do, with evidence of this trend being shown in the explosion of "mommy blogs" on the Internet. Mommy blogs are kind of like The Family Circus, except turned into words and then sprayed like projectile diarrhea all over your computer monitor. These unemployed women who hang out with babies and children all day think that we WANT to hear about their adventures in babysitting. I don't know about you guys, but my mom was too busy raising me to document every time I shit my pants at the bus stop.
EAT FROM THE TREE OF WASTED LIFEI'm only picking on MommyBlog because it happens to have the domain name; all mommy blogs are alike. And really, nothing is less interesting than having to hear about someone and their precious diamond star sugar cutie pie in the ZANY world of mommyhood (!!!). Plus, these things are never about the children - it's one last LOOK AT ME, WORLD before mommy's postpartum depression makes her feed the family Drain-O smoothies.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.