MommyBlog - Apparently being a mommy is the hot, new thing to do, with evidence of this trend being shown in the explosion of "mommy blogs" on the Internet. Mommy blogs are kind of like The Family Circus, except turned into words and then sprayed like projectile diarrhea all over your computer monitor. These unemployed women who hang out with babies and children all day think that we WANT to hear about their adventures in babysitting. I don't know about you guys, but my mom was too busy raising me to document every time I shit my pants at the bus stop.
EAT FROM THE TREE OF WASTED LIFEI'm only picking on MommyBlog because it happens to have the domain name; all mommy blogs are alike. And really, nothing is less interesting than having to hear about someone and their precious diamond star sugar cutie pie in the ZANY world of mommyhood (!!!). Plus, these things are never about the children - it's one last LOOK AT ME, WORLD before mommy's postpartum depression makes her feed the family Drain-O smoothies.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.