"I soon discovered that the true miracle of Macromedia Flash was that I could make these cartoons all by myself."
This is not a manta ray.Thanks so much, Macromedia Flash. If it weren't for you, Apocalypse Cartoons animator Dean Packis could not have created "Cumbersnatch," the wordless story of two amphibian penises that gulp water from a stream, slither up a phallic rock, and tend to the egg-hatched baby penis to which they give birth. These lumbering penisaurs nibble blue fruit from a tree, then bird-feed their infant by regurgitating the fruit's white innards, which in turn spreads the gagging to viewers. Eventually, and perhaps inevitably, Penis, Jr. graphically conjoins with a flying vagina.
These are not turtles.Obviously, this sounds pretty terrible, but I assure you Packis' other offerings are somehow much worse. "Cumbersnatch" seems like a fucking Fantasia masterpiece compared to "Father Tucker, The Child Fucker" and "Premie Petey, The Living Abortion." When someone can honestly tell you "Hey buddy, stick with drawing anthropomorphic dick families, it's what you do best," it's probably time to find a new hobby.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.