The Bible doesn't really go into detail about what happened to Mary after Jesus ascended into heaven, but Sacred Tradition holds that she died a few years later, leaving behind an empty tomb in Jerusalem. Her posthumous activities are largely unaccounted for, except for her brief emergence in Bayside, New York from 1970-1995, when she started delivering stridently pedantic messages to Catholic housewife Veronica Lueken. Lueken also received direct transmissions from Jesus, mostly of a suspiciously arch-conservative nature. Then again, people occasionally become more reactionary with age, and perhaps this effect intensifies over the course of a couple thousand years.
Maintained by These Last Days Ministries, Virgin Mary's End-Time Prophecies updates four or five times a day with current news stories accompanied by vintage Lueken-dictated '70s and '80s quotes from the Virgin Mary and Jesus. The site also includes "miraculous photos" that invoke the physical manifestation of Our Lady of Glow Stick Light.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.