Angel Energy (Thanks, God)
If you're an idiot in need of a pick-me-up, head on over to Angel Energy for enough treacle to gag a hummingbird. From touching tales of the healing power of angels to amazing inspirational poetry, Angel Energy has pretty much everything you could ask for in a site about pastel-colored, quasi-Christian mystical bullhockey. Witness this poem:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends
so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,
and our friends are warm and comfortable.
Wow, I suddenly feel a little bit more like barfing in an angel's asshole. Thanks, Angel Energy!
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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