Nature's Platform, submitted by Bufort. In an order to improve bathroom sanitation, the Nature's Platform company has created a product everyone can get behind: a platform for you to erect around your toilet. Why would you do such a thing? So you can climb on top of it and squat like a dog, of course! Talk about classy; your guests will love perching atop this mighty shitting tower that overlooks the battlefields of waste excretion.
I wish there was some kind of science award for this, because if you ask me they just won the "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Thinking Too Goddamn Hard About All the Wrong Things." The toilet has a seat for a reason. I believe it was Confucius who once said, "Ayyyy, sit on it!" Truer words have never been spoken.
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VILE RASPUTIN-LIKE PUG - Gnarly facial hair and long nails that drag across the floor. Ceaseless wet cough. Glass-eyed gaze. Menacing giggle. Ideal for advanced owners only.
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