Nature's Platform, submitted by Bufort. In an order to improve bathroom sanitation, the Nature's Platform company has created a product everyone can get behind: a platform for you to erect around your toilet. Why would you do such a thing? So you can climb on top of it and squat like a dog, of course! Talk about classy; your guests will love perching atop this mighty shitting tower that overlooks the battlefields of waste excretion.
I wish there was some kind of science award for this, because if you ask me they just won the "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Thinking Too Goddamn Hard About All the Wrong Things." The toilet has a seat for a reason. I believe it was Confucius who once said, "Ayyyy, sit on it!" Truer words have never been spoken.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.