Nature's Platform, submitted by Bufort. In an order to improve bathroom sanitation, the Nature's Platform company has created a product everyone can get behind: a platform for you to erect around your toilet. Why would you do such a thing? So you can climb on top of it and squat like a dog, of course! Talk about classy; your guests will love perching atop this mighty shitting tower that overlooks the battlefields of waste excretion.
I wish there was some kind of science award for this, because if you ask me they just won the "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Thinking Too Goddamn Hard About All the Wrong Things." The toilet has a seat for a reason. I believe it was Confucius who once said, "Ayyyy, sit on it!" Truer words have never been spoken.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.