Modern Moist Towelette Collecting, submitted by Jo. I can understand the urge to collect things, and a lot of other people see that too because they collect dumb things like teapots and teddy bears and pubic hair. The dumbest collection of them all, however, has got the be the art of moist towelette collecting. Sure they come in appetizing little packets that are a perfect size to caress and squeeze and place in one's pants, but I have no idea why anyone would be moronic enough to collect them. It's good to have a little, lemony, wet cloth on hand to clean up the semen spills, but it is not good and it is in fact WRONG and CREEPY to have several hundred of said cloth bits.
On a historical note, one of our members has suggested that perhaps the classic painting "The Scream" was not, in fact, a representation of stress, but rather a depiction of a gentleman who has soiled his hands fishing (note the dock) and is using an early form of moist towelette to clean himself. Impossible? Decide for yourself.
Finally, the mysteries of the moist towelette world has been solved! There is no door left closed to me now! LIttle did I know that these cleansing cloths were inextricably tied to the world of classic art.
This weirdo has a gallery of these things as well as his own system of awards for other freaks involved in the fast-paced world of moist towelette collecting. Just in case you want to take up the hobby yourself because there are many things wrong with you that even science cannot begin to explain. he has included a contacts page full of information on how to get ahold of many towelette-producing companies. The only mystery left unsolved in this page full of mysteries that have been solved is what exactly constitutes "non-modern" moist towelette collecting? I can only assume that they used to hand these things out on horse-drawn carts.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
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