Aggressive Christianity Spirit Community, submitted by shanefer. I don't mind religion, particularly when it gives people something positive to do with themselves, but sometimes people take their quest for salvation a little too far. Going to church and trying to lead a good life is one thing, but calling yourself a General in God's Army is another. But I suppose that's about the only title that would fit when you're riding horseback into a sea of sodomizing homosexuals to wage war on behalf of a just and loving God. General Jim and Deborah Green, prophets with a direct connection with God, lead this courageous commando squad of saintly Christians. I'm guessing they have a special red telephone in their office that lets them ring up the King of Kings whenever they want. Either that, or they're both loony.
So what does God tell General Deborah Green when he speaks to her? Aside from sharing plenty of visions either straight out of Dente's Inferno or probably in the book equivalent of the deleted scenes section of Dente's Inferno, there is this chilling parable about elderly people with baseball hats and yo-yos:
ELDERS CHILDISH, SOTTISH, IMMATURE May 30, 2002
I saw a man with white hair and a white beard, he was sitting down, playing with a yo-yo. He had a baseball cap on his head. I asked the Lord the meaning--immaturity of eldership. Elders in this hour are childish, sottish, immature children, they only want to play--e.g. yo-yo. The Baseball cap also reflects an immature covering over his mind--dumb, childish, not developed in spiritual matters. Excellent reflection of today's "church leaders"--sitting down, playing with a child's toy. No wisdom to match their age, only immaturity.
First they target the homosexuals, now they target Yo-Yo Grandpa? When will the madness end? Most of her visions carry such Biblical titles as "PARTY ANIMALS IN HELL" and "BLOOD OF JESUS INVINCIBLE." A lot of the other titles would make perfect song names for a shitty heavy metal band's concept album about the Anti-Christ raging war on the world.
I make light of this site, but that's only because I'm already damned to hell a dozen times over for writing for this sin-cursed haven of all things awful. Aggressive Christian Spirit Community is one of a small handful of websites to feature frequent updates from God himself delivered through individuals you can obviously trust. In a way, this is much like God's LiveJournal. Sadly, he's just as whiny and preachy as the average idiot high school girl who writes daily updates about why she either loves her asshole boyfriend or hates her asshole boyfriend.
THROUGH THE INNOCENTLY APPEARING GUISE OF THE "NATURAL HERBAL HIGH" CALLED MARIJUANA, SATAN HAS FOUND AN OPEN DOORWAY FOR INVASION INTO THE MINDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. MANY A DECEIVED CHRISTIAN HAS LOST THEIR SALVATION IN CHRIST THROUGH THIS DECEPTIVE DEVICE OF THE ONE WHOSE PURPOSE IS TO KILL, STEAL, AND DESTROY. THE DECEPTIVE REASONING THAT SATAN USES IS THIS: "GOD MADE PLANTS FOR THE BENEFIT OF MAN, MARIJUANA IS A PLANT, THEREFORE GOD MADE IT FOR THE BENEFIT OF MAN. IT OPENS UP A PERSON'S MIND SO THAT THEY CAN FLOW IN THE SPIRIT." THE TRUTH IS THAT THE SPIRIT WHICH THIS PLANT OPENS ONE UP TO IS THE SPIRIT OF THE DEVIL. THIS "INNOCENT NATURAL HIGH" IS REALLY JUST THE BAIT THAT THE DEVIL USES TO CAPTIVATE THE SOUL (MIND, WILL AND EMOTIONS). THE DEVIL IS THE MASTER OF DECEPTION!!! READ SOME CASE HISTORIES OF THOSE IN MENTAL WARDS, MOST OF THEM STARTED OUT SO "INNOCENTLY" ON MARIJUANA.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go experience the infinite torment that is life without God. Also, I'm going to make a sandwich.
Sir Mix-a-Lot's classic follow up to "Baby Got Back" has serious unintended consequences.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
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