Thule, submitted by Mind Comptroller. My search for more and more information on conspiracy theories brings me to lots of exciting and fun places on the Internet. is one of those places, although it's so bad at times it borders on parody.

Because this is Kali yuga, the age of ignorance, you were most likely conditioned, mind controlled and coerced by well meaning or evil parents, when you were young.

Between the ages of 4 and 8, they would have led you to believe an absolute load of crap, about death and dying, religion, science, geology, grave robbing archaeology, medicine, diet and every other subject you could think of asking them about.

So, unless you have taken lots of mind expanding psychedelic drugs or been touched by an "angel", you probably have not been able to extricate yourself from that early mind controlling conditioning.

Conspiracy theories have almost evolved to the point of modern folklore. These stories will be compiled, spun, and retold on the next generation of Geocities websites and futuristic spinning holographic GIFs.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.