Stop Bullying Now!, submitted by dorquemada. So let me get this straight. We're going to stop bullies from beating up nerds by making shitty Flash cartoons that only nerds will ever see? Whatever you say United States Government!

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the Health Resources and Services Administration, and the Maternal and Child Health Bureau created this awesome place for us to go to get the latest scoop on bullying. Without their commitment to reducing and preventing bullying, all this helpful information may not have been so readily available.

This isn't going to do a goddamn thing to stop anybody from getting beat up by bullies. Here's how you put a stop to this shit. Slap a pair of handcuffs on the bullies and show them what a real prison is like. Tell them that if they want to keep assulting people they'll end up here where their anus will be the one getting bullied.

But God forbid we hurt their feelings.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.