Naked Dan The Handyman, submitted by Oona. I was pretty sure this site was fake at first, but amazingly the guy put an ad in his local paper for his naked services and everything. For the low price of several hundred dollars an hour, you can hire Naked Dan to do handywork, be your butler, or perform "nude notary" which is the next logical step. I know that a plumber's asscrack poking out of his pants has been a long-running gag, but I was under the impression that it was something you didn't want to see more of.
I'm not sure if he'll suck in his gut like that the entire time, you'll have to call in advance to find out. Either way, does anyone really want this man painting their house, possibly brushing his midsection against their window and leaving a greasy smudge that will be hard to explain at the next Tupperware party? Compounding all this is the cheesy "blazing fire" animation applied to the title of his site, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence in his ability to properly wire electronics and use nonflammable paints and safe construction materials.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.