Naked Dan The Handyman, submitted by Oona. I was pretty sure this site was fake at first, but amazingly the guy put an ad in his local paper for his naked services and everything. For the low price of several hundred dollars an hour, you can hire Naked Dan to do handywork, be your butler, or perform "nude notary" which is the next logical step. I know that a plumber's asscrack poking out of his pants has been a long-running gag, but I was under the impression that it was something you didn't want to see more of.

I'm not sure if he'll suck in his gut like that the entire time, you'll have to call in advance to find out. Either way, does anyone really want this man painting their house, possibly brushing his midsection against their window and leaving a greasy smudge that will be hard to explain at the next Tupperware party? Compounding all this is the cheesy "blazing fire" animation applied to the title of his site, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence in his ability to properly wire electronics and use nonflammable paints and safe construction materials.

– Corin Tucker's Stalker

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.