THE NEW PHYSICS, submitted by eprodigy. My fellow Americans, I'm afraid we're not out of the woods of terror and death yet! There is a new threat looming on the already threat-filled horizon and it promises to destroy us in ways we never imagined! Why did we never imagine these ways? Well, because they defy the very concept of imagination, unless of course your skull is full of crazy worms. Then I imagine this sort of thing comes easy for you.
THE PLAN TO BEGIN THE VIGOROUS AND CONFIDENT APPLICATION OF THIS KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY BY, WITHIN AND AGAINST THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ON ENLARGED SCALE BEGAN JULY 28, 1999 (the world-wide hallucination was "empowered" -meaning that your fantasy (as per the reds, not the blues in the peculiar election of 2004) world is "valid." for a brief time.) THIS CELESTIAL EVENT WAS EFFECTED BY THE END OF AUGUST, THAT YEAR, WITH THE CONCURRENT INSINUATION OF CONDITIONS CRIPPLING TO USA ECONOMY AND GLOBAL STABILITY SOON THEREAFTER.
I'm afraid this plan could work, because as far as I can tell, there is no way to even understand what this plan is and therefore guard against it. It involves "New Physics" and what appears to be lots and lots of brain-exploding inspired nuttiness. As a precaution, I've already surrendered some of my personal freedoms for temporary safety.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
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