Revelation13.net, submitted by brobak. Looking for an awesome educational site to explain exactly how the world is going to end, who is the Antichrist, and how OJ Simpson / Laci Peterson were written about in the Bible? Well then look no further buddy!

By using Bible code software I searched for some words in the King James New Testament and Old Testament (separately). I found that there is evidence of English Bible code patterns that the software found by skipping varying intervals, in the King James Old Testament or New Testament, made into a block of solid text. Matrices on The 2008 U.S. Presidential Election: I tried searching in the Bible Code for likely 2008 presidential candidates and some other words, to see if the Bible Code can tell us about the 2008 U.S. Presidential election. The likely Presidential Candidates we will search for in the Bible Code: Democrats: Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, John Kerry Republicans: John McCain, Rudy Giuliani

(The Antichrist and the Confederation of 10 states he leads is represented as a beast rising out of the sea-- the sea of politics. Elsewhere in Revelation it is indicated that this beast is red in color-- so it could be the Confederation of Independent States led by Russia. This is a very angry beast, and is very strong militarily.)

So the Antichrist is a Russian dinosaur that vomits urine? Gosh, animated gifs sure do help explain the Bible! This website is literally crammed full of countless pages dedicated to running the Bible through "Bible Code," supposedly some bit of software which can transforms 2000-year old text into a crossword puzzle and then requires you to write hundreds of insane, rambling paragraphs detailing your descent into madness. Here's an awesome example of the Bible Code in action. Please note that the author is completely crazy.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.