FEMA Director Michael Brown's Fictional Biography, submitted by cronyism. Michael Brown, what won't you lie about? You're so deliciously insufferable that it borders on the adorable. You well-read folks have probably heard about the fact that he was the legal council for the International Arabian Horse Association and he was fired after being charged with bribery during judging. Well, the best just got better.

His background in state and local government also includes serving as an assistant city manager with emergency services oversight and as a city councilman.

That sounds pretty good, right? Whoops!

In fact, according to Claudia Deakins, head of public relations for the city of Edmond, Brown was an "assistant to the city manager" from 1977 to 1980, not a manager himself, and had no authority over other employees. "The assistant is more like an intern," she told TIME. "Department heads did not report to him."

Oh, Brownie, wilst thou ever stop doing a heckuva job?

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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