Pathetic Inc., submitted by me.
As soon as I saw this incredible webcomic I knew that I had to thank the author by throwing as much cash his way as humanly possible. Luckily, he makes a profit by selling t-shirts featuring jokes that are right up my alley, with "dees nuts" references and the equally groundbreaking proclamation that pirates and ninjas are cool! I can not wait for the "I'm Rick James, bitch!" shirt to go on sale in seven years. It's like someone travelled a thousand years into the future and collected the absolute funniest jokes mankind had created throughout the course of that timespan, then hit his head really hard on the journey back.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.