High Status Male, submitted by OnYourRight. Learning how to seduce women from DVDs and books you get on the Internet is sort of like learning how to sail a ship from a guy who makes ships in a bottle. All of these seduction techniques are 100% foolproof and they all seem identical, possibly because step one is usually some really buzz-wordy way of saying "put on a clean shirt and stop farting." Or should I say, "enclothe yourself in cotton confidence and focus on your restraint technique when you make the green approach."

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful