High Status Male, submitted by OnYourRight. Learning how to seduce women from DVDs and books you get on the Internet is sort of like learning how to sail a ship from a guy who makes ships in a bottle. All of these seduction techniques are 100% foolproof and they all seem identical, possibly because step one is usually some really buzz-wordy way of saying "put on a clean shirt and stop farting." Or should I say, "enclothe yourself in cotton confidence and focus on your restraint technique when you make the green approach."
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.