Girl Authority, submitted by jordle. An overcrowded "rock band" consisting of nine young teenage girls carefully modeled after moronic archetypes perform inane covers of already inane songs. It will make you feel even dirtier than when that Kidz Bop commercial appears on TV while you're trying to masturbate to Kim Possible.
Country Girl Crystal is the down-to-earth member of the group, while Boho Girl Jess is Girl Authority's free-spirited sprite. Party Girl Kate is fun-loving and energetic, while Rock-n-Roll Girl Tarr is spunky and feisty. Urban Girl Gina is sassy and independent; Fashion Girl Alex is crazy about clothes; and Preppy Girl Zoe is a cute schoolgirl and the "little sis" of the group. Rounding out Girl Authority are All-Star Girl Jacqueline, the sweet- natured, encouraging team player of the group; and Glamour Girl Carly, elegant and refined.
Refreshingly unscripted, never pre-packaged, Girl Authority is a group for real girls everywhere.
Unscripted? These girls play out like an in-engine cinematic from some forgotten Barbie first-person shooter. They even cover several of the same songs that Kidz Bop cover. They probably have a rivalry with Kidz Bop akin to the East Coast/West Coast schism that nearly ripped the rap world wide open.
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
Once again I'm stuck with a useless egg man statue and nobody to tend to my robust physical and emotional needs. Worst of all, the egg man didn't even come with a stool. I have to share my recliner and bed with him, and he is not sensitive to my needs at all.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.